Ontogeny

I sit here;
and marvel as to why
I allow myself
to be engulfed
into these notions
that neglect an entity of reality.
I stand here;
ready to leap for those I
do not fully trust.
How can I be
so easily deceived?
In many senses
this is no fallacy
I am merely delusional,
the truth was amidst
my teeth yet I
ignored the flavors.
I fall here;
and only now admit
how retched a
taste that lingers between
tooth and gum.
I crawl here;
soon to sit;
soon to stand;
soon to fall.

Conception

It is only a past that dreams of its future.
Come with me and smile
while we listen for clues
to this present.
I am nothing but being,
and we shall only be, wasting
if we are not questioning.
A world of wonders that
is not seen. Past! Past!
Past!
come to me and help
my Future. I bag of you
to sacrifice your secrets,
we together must hold tight
these hands and worlds.
Prevention of a collision
which smears hopes among fears.
Befall unto my hearing ears and reading eyes,
share with me what it is
to know.
Nay!
Remove from me my inadequate
understanding. Replace this disgusting
trait with a compulsion of penetration.
I hope it is the
completion of what is said
to be incomplete.
Come to me my present.

Class

The days of Nothingness
and motivation are over.
Please Love, Find my
hands and clasp them tight.
Bring those feelings of the
past anew. Make my future
feel as free as those days long
gone once did.

Smile

I have become this.
This is where I stand.
I stand here.
Here is where I smile.
I smile at her.
She has become this.

Greatness

I walk forward into a clouded night sky.
The moon is black.
It gives off no light.
I am here mixed among stars and rain.

Go Green

This retched World has absorbed from me my spirit and soul
but I am not saddened for these things are only creations of the mind; of which, I still have mine. Leading to the fact and point, which is that with Blue Prints and a Factory, items can always be re-Built. All that is left is the Materials to be Discovered. These surround us, our senses gather each ounce of inspiration and the Smoke of Production pollutes once again.
When will the Green world fully take effect?

Appoligize

I write these apologize, sealed in a and envelope, licked with tears.

My eyes are flooded with the salty moisture, so is the paper that this is written on.
This endless water fall of emotion, comes from my mistakes.
The damns that I built have cracked.

These walls once held in my sadness.
With the constant reminder of my mistakes, the walls hold no more.
The last words that I remember entering my ears from your lips were, those of a person that feels that I am lost, that the path I am on, you say my feet do not belong.
And now you lie there, immobilized.
Not able to know who you fully are but still able to tell me that I will end in failure.
For this I write these apologize.
Maybe I should have done something different.

Noticing

The door, it creeks, my ears start to bleed and my feet start to follow one another. The side walk has millions of groves, dents, and all over carelessness of the human race embedded in its surface. Yet as I am drugging forth, my eyes only see a clarity, a perfection that makes me feel as though my ears will start to clot and the pain will subside. The sun causes an illusion, from the distance I am at, it creates the smoothness, the perfection that lays in front of me. A perfection that I am chasing.
I walk with my head held high yet my heart slouches.
When I get to the bus stop that had a platform of grace for me to wait on, now holds a crater that fills with rain drops that bring the cold.
My breath freezes the drops to ice.
My feet drown.
I am on life support, my heart is mechanized, the cold rusting steel runs by means of a diesel engine.
The city bus arrives and I force my limp limbs to find a vacant seat. I ride the vessel of transport to the school. When it arrives I stay seated until the last person is stepping off and then I finally gain the courage to crawl from the seat and embark on the journey to a cubical in the library to inhale words to only exhale so brief yet swift enough to imprint them onto the paper that formulates my future.
I am embarrassed.
I am an embarrassment.
The distance from the bus to the library is dreaded, through a crowed of people I must suffer. This same crowed is to suffer. The harsh visual that I portray. I see it in their eyes. The brief seconds that they can bare to make eye contact show me only what I already know. One looks, she looks. They see the machinery pumping out it's toxic exhaust fumes. It hurts the public.
I envy.
I am not envied.
I keep my pace constant.
The ery sounds that crank forth from the cavity in my chest halt. I drop to my knees with thirteen tears that slowly, one by one trickle down the creases in my face. I reach for my heart and the smell of burning skin engulfs the air; the life support system is over heating.
My tears freeze to ice as they pass through my frigged gasps. A shattering sound from each drop ripples through the building.
My ears drip red.
I can not hear.
The people walk. All looking for seconds but then glancing away. Globalization swallows us...out of sight out of mind.
She stares. My eyes and hers collide and she comes to take my hand.
Our eyes never part.
A life time, yet merely seconds have passed and Love is formed. A kiss on her forehead is my gift. A smile that brings happiness is hers.
I have found perfection.
No longer shall i chase.
I collapse.

Modern Love

The water is coming down steadily. Drop after drop, freezing fast, building up to create a glass layer above my skin, condensing on everything below the grey clouds. I go outside slowly, I feel confused, yet completely clear. I walk through the campus looking upwards, only using my peripheral vision to see where I am going. I hold my palms up welcoming the layers of nature's glass to code my skin. Each foot before the other, my clothes are first getting wet, yet I keep walking. I can't help but think about how so much of life is related to nature, we as humans live our lives as the sun lifts and the winds blow. The icy drops are creating a see threw skin onto everything it touches. I realize that so many of us do the exact thing. So many people cover things, things like their feelings; they try to create a cover to pull over how they are feeling, or what they are thinking, yet no matter how much they try to hide these things they find themselves only revealing the truth. The blanket we pull over our feelings and thoughts is like the icy drops falling from the sky. They build up and code our surface, but are completely see threw. I stop in the middle of the walk above the bookstore. I realize my clothes are crisp; my hands look as though I've been dipped into a pot of liquid glass and then set to dry.

I make my way back to my room with a message waiting on my computer. I jump into the shower to de-thaw.

As I am putting on my clothes I realize it is 2:13am. I wonder who is still up, what should I do? I look at the message, it is from her. I decide not to answer. I question myself, what am I doing, and why am I doing it? I fall asleep with my glasses on and a book in hand.



Within closed eyes we see our lives.



I wake to my computer nudging me. It is her. She makes me nervous.

I answer her message.

When I talk to people I question everything. What are her motives? Why is she like this? How can I make sure I am right? I say hi, and we start talking about nothing, and everything. Each sentence is a hint to something. Each pause, laugh and nudge tells me what is in her head. During the conversation I find that it is sprayed with flirtatious bullets. All I can think is that if I were her boyfriend I would be completely and utterly angry. I wonder if she tells him, I wonder if she knows she does it? But it is who girls are. They like the attention, they like options. She likes making me say things she already knows. She likes making me talk. Leaving loaded words, putting my mouth behind the trigger. I enjoy this. I am a flirt. Who is she?

I am pulled away from my computer for class.


In her sleep she shakes. Tears fall from cold eyes. As she lies her head is fast at work. She dreams of two lives that she is torn between. The first holds her dear, keeps her warm. She dreams of the summer sun hot on her face, while he holds her tight in his arms. They lie in the grass next to a slow moving river she looks into his eyes and feels safe. Days spent like this, nights, weeks. But as the grass is cut down it bleeds it's colours out into the river making it a healthy green, leaving behind a dark and bare desert. She holds him tight as the sky opens up and the soft evening stars warp into a fast moving torch that scorches across the sky creating an eerie visual that she can not take her eyes off. She slowly feels his arms leave her, her hand goes out to grab at him, but she is only able to touch the air in between. A distance that can not be filled. Tears flow, sadness is felt, nights are lonely. The sky bursts into flames that engulf her. She is taken into another world. A distant world that she feels things that she was certain had been lost. A hand touches her face softly pulling her glowing hair behind her ear. Words are heard within her ear that lift her heart and scare her mind. She turns to reveal a face. It is not that of the warm arms that held her before but a new face with kind eyes. She tries to hug this new face but her arms remain at her side. Her heart pulls towards him, but her mind stays put. She is unable to give up the safety she felt before in the grassy field. She looks up to see a blue sky laced with white clouds that shimmer in the winds to write the most comforting words, she is filled with pulling thoughts. She is frozen to this spot that she stands in, only able to move her head and eyes. As she speaks no words come forth. Her mind is scared to let say what her heart pushes forth. She hears whispers from soft lips that tell her to let go of her past, and be part of his future, a promise of love is what he offers, with a tear on his cheek he grazes her lips and she does not turn her head away. She does not shake anymore, her eyes are warm and the tears have dried. She lies awake in her bed.

A message blinks on her computer screen. She does not answer it. It is 2:13am.



We live in a dream world. Most of what we see, hear, taste, touch and smell is nothing more then an imagination, a hallucination. Who are we to say what is right? A rose; the sweet sent is unmistakable. The vast colours that a rose peddle holds withers away at ones heart. The touch of this flower across your side as you walk through a field bursting with reds, whites and shades of oranges. Becoming lost as the field is endless and the blue swallows the earth. Gentle wind that you can see come to life as the peddles are picked ever so carefully and lifted as with out the affects of gravity. These things only thoughts of love bring.

She tosses in her sleep once again.


Cast out what you no longer want. we must be cleansed of the things that bring sadness to our lives. Lack of caring scares our minds, re-shaping our hearts into hard callous things that do not beat as once they did.


In dreams she goes to the place that brings the doves to the skies quilting the ground with pedals from freshly bloomed flowers. White maple trees surround a white knoll which roles with the sweetest curves into an almost mirror of a lake. The sun is shimmering at what appears to be an endless horizon that is so close it is touchable. She finds herself not in old loves arms but rather lip to lip with warmth. Happiness consumes her and she slowly gains control of her bodily functions, she is able to rap her arms around him; never to let go. She finds herself not with what she started, but something that is better.

We should all strive for happiness.



Is is 2:13am. She does not wake, but her computer winks at her. Her tears are no longer falling down her face, only a soft smile is placed upon such sweet beauty.


Rolling over until finally she finds the edge of the bed.


The sun shines through the covered window letting in blades of light that cut away sleepy eyes. She finds her computer still flashing with conversation. She answer, she smiles, and she thinks he is an idiot sometimes.


How sad is our world, we no longer go out to find company or to gain excitement? We no longer pick up the receiver of a phone to dial minimal digits to keep in touch with those around us. We mearly just sit in our rooms engrossed in an LED screen.

What happened to human contact?


A life is ahead of her that she controls. It is no longer what you are destined to do; it is what you are able to make it. We all hold such things close to us and we all are scared to accept these things. We must step out of what is known and enter what is waiting to be discovered.

When she wakes she is born free of her glass shell.

I wish to know you forever

I wish to know you forever.
A friendship is wrapped in the wind and travels as vastly. Let your heart go and it will find me as if it were fate. We shall go forth and enter the world apart but together forever. Never close your eyes with sadness, know that I will be holding you as tightly as I can from miles away. Always I have a place for you and my arms will never be closed until you are in them. One day we shall graze hands so softly, tingling the senses and awakening the hearts of millions. In our waking moments we are apart, and yet subconsciously we lie close, flaring with a connection that is never ending.
I wish to know you forever.