Noticing

The door, it creeks, my ears start to bleed and my feet start to follow one another. The side walk has millions of groves, dents, and all over carelessness of the human race embedded in its surface. Yet as I am drugging forth, my eyes only see a clarity, a perfection that makes me feel as though my ears will start to clot and the pain will subside. The sun causes an illusion, from the distance I am at, it creates the smoothness, the perfection that lays in front of me. A perfection that I am chasing.
I walk with my head held high yet my heart slouches.
When I get to the bus stop that had a platform of grace for me to wait on, now holds a crater that fills with rain drops that bring the cold.
My breath freezes the drops to ice.
My feet drown.
I am on life support, my heart is mechanized, the cold rusting steel runs by means of a diesel engine.
The city bus arrives and I force my limp limbs to find a vacant seat. I ride the vessel of transport to the school. When it arrives I stay seated until the last person is stepping off and then I finally gain the courage to crawl from the seat and embark on the journey to a cubical in the library to inhale words to only exhale so brief yet swift enough to imprint them onto the paper that formulates my future.
I am embarrassed.
I am an embarrassment.
The distance from the bus to the library is dreaded, through a crowed of people I must suffer. This same crowed is to suffer. The harsh visual that I portray. I see it in their eyes. The brief seconds that they can bare to make eye contact show me only what I already know. One looks, she looks. They see the machinery pumping out it's toxic exhaust fumes. It hurts the public.
I envy.
I am not envied.
I keep my pace constant.
The ery sounds that crank forth from the cavity in my chest halt. I drop to my knees with thirteen tears that slowly, one by one trickle down the creases in my face. I reach for my heart and the smell of burning skin engulfs the air; the life support system is over heating.
My tears freeze to ice as they pass through my frigged gasps. A shattering sound from each drop ripples through the building.
My ears drip red.
I can not hear.
The people walk. All looking for seconds but then glancing away. Globalization swallows us...out of sight out of mind.
She stares. My eyes and hers collide and she comes to take my hand.
Our eyes never part.
A life time, yet merely seconds have passed and Love is formed. A kiss on her forehead is my gift. A smile that brings happiness is hers.
I have found perfection.
No longer shall i chase.
I collapse.