Changing Thoughts

The wind; today it was softer then normal. It did not cut my face open, it left me intact. My walk to and from class was enjoyable. I walk, I notice, I see, I actually feel the warmth from the sun. My mind is slowly healing, my heart is stitching itself back together. It is amazing that months can disperse and I have nothing to show for it. My pain hurts me as though the world can see the scars that have been made on me. But it is not so, these invisible tortures have lingered for much too long. Instead of being what most would expect of me, I am doing the opposite. Most feel that since I was the one that acted as an ass that I should continue reading the script for the part. I have thought this as well. I have a hard time bringing myself to understand how I threw away something so precious to me, something so amazing that it made me lift with happiness the way the bright fall leaves are lifted by the soft autumn winds that I feel today. Instead of this, I am normally left feeling the cold cuts that have been delivered to my skin from a vicious torrent like that of a devastating wall of frigged whiteness.