Past Hands Hold Tight

Can we ever let go of what it is that we hold on to? The things that grip us so tight that we are unable to go on with our life, can this ever be released? I have been going on , unable to fully clear myself of the past and what has happened. Each day, somehow there is this reminder, this little thing that bites my shoulder and sinks into my stomach and I still feel what has happened so long ago.
A single leaf. This piece of nature buds and grows full and lush, then slowly over time lets go of it's green skin and darkens to the reds and oranges that light the forest even on the darkest nights. This cousin to paper has such simplicity mixed with microscopic complexities and yet has no fears of letting go of it's whole. The roots of which are so far buried. This little piece of life sheds it's self and does not leave a tear to remember it by. I envy this remarkable thing, a leaf boasts of bravery.
I want so much to just let go of the things that hold me so tight. We all have dealt with this type of emotion. The letting go of someone so close. A person that has become part of you and knows you so completely that you are scared by it; scared even more when they are no longer there to understand you when you no longer can. This is one of our biggest unconscious fears in life. The idea of no one there to help you understand yourself.
Love shall ruin us, with out love we are already ruined.
We go through so many fears to obtain this one thing that will make us brave, and once obtained we are only leaving ourselves open to become terrified. We go through the stages of letting someone into our life and letting them see us at our worst which makes us tremble with fear but we soon over come this and are ready to face the armies of the world as long as the person that we have become part of, the person that holds us close at night and whispers in our ear, "love, I have this for you, remember this and we'll smile for eternity." is with us. If they are there we are fine. Having such a person leaves us open for the greatest fear; loneliness bites hard and viciously.
I am sitting here, dreaming with eyes open of the days that were had, the days that are to come, the days that are with me. We all will be able to let go of what our pasts grip our hearts with. Time is a mystical creation, with it we can change infinite things. Time however takes just that, time. We must live and go through a waiting period before we shall feel like ourselves again after an ordeal so grave as loosing someone close to us. We shall never forget our past but will be able to move away from it with only flips of a calender, and rotations of a clock. Fear will still haunt us.
I wish I was a leaf.